


Stardom

by NoHappyEnding, user_name



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Character Death, Dark, Depression, Dreams, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Love, M/M, Surreal, nhe, nhe 2018, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-10-25 00:18:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17714441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoHappyEnding/pseuds/NoHappyEnding, https://archiveofourown.org/users/user_name/pseuds/user_name
Summary: Junmyeon, a successful young doctor, begins having oddly realistic dreams about being a part of a boy band. Reality begins to blur and he finds himself becoming unsure of who he really is.





	Stardom

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt #:** 61  
>  **Prompt:** Junmyeon, a successful young doctor, wakes up in the morning thinking he had dreamed about being an idol and having lots of band members. For a week, he keeps having dreams about them, random scenes after random scenes. At the 8th day, he dreams of nothing but black, with various voices calling for him; "hyung, please wake up, please stay with us."  
>  **Prompter:** [lordkrisdemort](https://twitter.com/lordkrisdemort)  
>  **Pairing/Main character(s):** Suho/Sehun  
>  **Side character(s) (if any):** Baekhyun  
>  **Word Count:** 1.6K  
>  **Warning(s)/Additional tag(s):** Implied/Referenced Suicide, Surreal,heavy angst, dark, Character death, depression

## WARNING:  
STORY HAS SENSITIVE CONTENT WHICH MAY BE TRIGGERING.

### READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

 

“When did you first notice your memory loss?” The bright fluorescent lights are giving Junmyeon a headache, but he carries on. “And did you experience any other symptoms during that time?”

The lady massages at her temples and Junmyeon follows the movement with his eyes, resisting the urge to do it himself. It doesn’t matter if she’s the last patient of the day; he can’t start showing exhaustion now. “Oh, I don’t know…three or four months ago? I was in a car crash, and I think it was late June when my granddaughter first brought up her concern for me…”

Junmyeon nods and hums. _Possible head trauma, sudden onset of symptoms, otherwise seems sharp and alert, dementia is unlikely but we’ll do some tests to make sure…_

 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

 

Sehun catches him at the automatic doors as he’s pulling on a jacket over his scrubs, ready to brave the rain outside for the walk home. “How were the patients today?” he asks.

“I saw Lucy for her third round of chemo and a senior patient whose drop-in appointment turned into amnesiac advising. It’s been a long day—I think I’ll be heading home.”

“Myeon, wait. Lucy’s mom found me in the waiting room. She wanted me to tell you thank you.”

“Oh...thanks for telling me, Sehun.”

 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

 

Junmyeon sinks down onto his bed with a sigh. _Ahh, finally. Face, meet pillow. Soft, soft pillow…_

Thoughts of work drift into muddled memories, and then it’s dark.

A voice cuts through the quiet. “Myeonie, you ready for rehearsal?” Junmyeon can feel his headache starting up again. The voice is so familiar that it bothers him that he can’t quite place it.

“Is he awake?”

“No, he’s died.”

“Let him sleep in a little. He deserves it, after yesterday. He was this close to cracking. Like an egg. In half. With his guts all over the counter. Ow, what was that for?”

_Toes. Fingers. Hands. I can wiggle a little. Where am I? Is this a dream?_

“Oh nice going, waking him up like that. Now he’s blinking.”

“No Baek, that was you!”

_Ow. Very bright. Two…faces, staring at me. Is that…Sehun?_

“Rehearsal’s starting soon. Manager will forgive you, but he’ll have my ass if I show up late again. Gotta dash.”

“Me too. See you in a few, Myeon.” Junmyeon hears the telltale clicks of polished shoes against the floor trail off into the distance, and then it’s quiet.

He rubs his eyes and sits up to see what looks like a large backstage dressing room. LED vanity mirrors and clothing racks filled with shiny suits line the opposite wall. At the end of the room is an open door. Junmyeon walks through with a hand to his chest, dazed. This is probably the most realistic dream he’s had in years.

 _Jesus_. He’s walked out onto the largest stage he’s ever seen, raised and vast and covered in rehearsal markings, the size of an Olympic stadium. The domed roof is open to the cool night sky. Stars. So many stars. Junmyeon takes a deep breath in and shivers.

“Junmyeon! You’re late!” snips a disembodied voice over the PA system.

Junmyeon twirls around, disoriented, before yelling into the air, “Sorry!”

The voice ignores him. “Music, cue!”

Without warning, a fast paced electro-pop begins pouring in through the speakers, sending bass vibrations up Junmyeon’s feet and into his heart. It’s loud, and thrilling, and for the first time in a long while, Junmyeon feels alive.

_How do I know all the steps? And the songs? I’ve always wanted to be a performer, but this is crazy._

“What’s up Myeon? Feeling better?” Sehun asks after hours of the practice, tossing him a sweat towel.

“Yeah, I am actually!”

“There’s that smile! I haven’t seen that in a long time.”

 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

 

Work is uneventful the next day in comparison. Junmyeon catches Sehun on his way to the sink, where they wash up between appointments. “Sehun, I had the best dream last night. It felt incredibly real. And you were in it!”

“Oh really?” Sehun says while pulling on latex gloves.

“Yeah, we were a pop band doing a stage rehearsal. You were a lead rapper, and we could all dance, too. I actually really wanted to audition for a large entertainment agency when I was younger, but I chose med school over my dreams. Haha.”

“Ah, the old med school foil. Um, do you think you could help me with this syringe?”

_Funny how dreams said aloud can become so mundane to others._

 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

 

Tonight Junmyeon is more than ready to sink down into bed. He wiggles his toes under the covers, content to relax into the calm darkness once more. _Here’s to more sweet dreams. Cheers, Mr. Teddy._

When he opens his eyes, he almost thinks he’s at work again, except he doesn’t recognize the blue walls of this hospital. Sterile walls. Beeping monitor. Small TV. _I’m in a hospital bed, wearing a hospital gown. Wait, isn’t this backwards?_

“Breaking news: Singer songwriter Moon Junmyeon of the music group Luna has been found in a flipped vehicle in a ditch outside of Gangnam. He was flown to SNU in critical condition and is now in a comatose state as a result of head trauma. Millions of fans gather to support him in candlelight vigils held outside local concert venues, where the singer performed his hit songs “Blue Summer” and “Overcome.” Police are still investigating the cause of the crash.”

“Shit. What—?”

“I’m sorry.” Sehun’s sitting at the foot of his bed, his head in his hands.

“Sehun? What’s going on?”

“I should have called you. I should have never let you go home.”

“What are you talking about? What the hell is going on?”

“Wake up, Myeon.”

“I’m right here. Sehun? Hello?” Junmyeon can feel his temples begin to pound.

“Please. For me.”

“Sehun, this isn’t funny!”

The ache in his head is becoming piercing. The hospital melts away to black, and Junmyeon sits up in a cold sweat, his eyes wide open, straining to see something, anything, in the darkness. _What—where—I’m in my bed. Holy fuck. What does it mean when your dreams feel more real than reality?_

 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

 

The next morning at work, Junmyeon seeks Sehun out the first chance he gets. He feels a sense of rising urgency as he speed walks through the hall toward Sehun’s retreating back, a cold, violent dread thrumming through his veins. “Sehun, Sehun!”

  
Sehun is on his way to the bathroom and he arches an eyebrow when Junmyeon follows him in. Once inside, he stops, his brow furrowed, and Junmyeon feels his voice falter halfway through his question. “D-do you believe in alternate universes?”

“No, not really, but I don’t know. I’m a nurse, not a physics nut. Why?” Sehun turns to face him, his arms crossed in concern, and Junmyeon hesitates.

“Okay, I…never mind.”

“Hey, is everything okay? You seem off lately.”

“I’m fine, really.”

Sehun raises his eyebrows at him. “You sure?

Junmyeon looks down at the tiled floor and nods. The urgency has started to wear off now and he’s starting to feel silly about the whole thing.

“Okay,” Sehun says. “But I’m here if you wanna talk. Just tell me.”

 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

 

Sehun’s staring at him, gesturing to his hands. He’s dressed in a shiny stage outfit and his voice comes back delayed, like he’s speaking underwater. “Myeon, pass me the mic? Myeon?”

_Shit. Everything's melting into black again. Since when did I start falling asleep? Everything is messed up. Everything is confusing. I’m tired of it all._

“I can hear you worrying your head off from all the way over here. Snap out of it. Myeon!”

 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

 

“Updated coverage on the investigation: Police suspect suicide.” The generic news reporter’s voice sounds fuzzy and unreal. The more Junmyeon hears it, the more it sounds detached, robot-like.

With a start, he realizes that he’s in his hospital gown again. This time there are flowers by his lunch tray. Like last time, Sehun is sitting at the foot of his bed, his head still in his hands. “I’m sorry. I thought you were getting better.”

“Sehun, I’m right here.”

“I thought—I should have known—”

“God damn it Sehun, stop talking about me like I’m dead.” Junmyeon can feel his blood pressure rising. He just wants Sehun to hear him, acknowledge he’s there. Why can’t anyone tell him what’s going on?

“God damn it Myeon, I didn’t spend eight years cooking your ramen just for you leave me.”

“But what do I do? Do I go on saving lives, or do I wake up and save my own? Am I really even saving lives, or am I just deluding myself into never waking up and facing reality? What’s even real at this point? I just—what the hell went wrong?”

“Where did I go wrong…?”

“Sehun? Sehun! I can feel myself cracking. I’m cracking like an egg.”

“Stay strong, Myeonnie. I know you can do it. I’ll be back tomorrow, I promise.”

_Oh. He kissed me on the forehead. Everything’s black now. I can think. Is this what it’s like to be dead? Nothing but your own thoughts, echoing in emptiness? I think I should feel sad, but I’m too empty to cry. I’d rather just split open and dissolve into the earth. Disappear._

“Moon Junmyeon, the gifted singer songwriter who inspired millions with his uplifting music, has passed away today at age 27. Moon was an outspoken mental health advocate for the millions of people who struggle with depression. He will be sorely missed.”

**Author's Note:**

> I appreciate all feedback ❤️  
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> 


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